Yes, I am still here. And still Sober!
Again, I am so very sorry to be gone so long. I am going to let up on the security for comments for a while and hope we don’t get spammed too badly, because y’all have such great things to say - that we all need to hear.
I love that we have so many people from both ends here, who are speaking up in such a loving way.
I can still not stress enough the importance of newcomers to stay in meetings for at least 5 years. AA will save your life, if you let it - just don’t let it start running your life once you get it back. Like all of the things in our lives, that one is also a choice. The problem is not AA, the problem is our natural tendency to take everything to extremes. We are still addicts!
And I love you all!
April 12th, 2008 18:01
Ohhhh,
I really wish you wouldn’t put a time frame of 5 years or any number of years for that matter, that you feel is important for anyone to stay in the program.
Where do you come up with that number?
People will make their decision based on where they are and what their experiences are. You are sounding sooo AA.
April 18th, 2008 07:05
Hi,
I agree with the comment above. Time means nothing. Five years? Why not 10 years? I’ve left after three years and I’ve never been happier. I love the program and think it’s great for a lot of people but I was getting more and more depressed in the rooms and had to leave or else.
April 18th, 2008 14:08
Dorothy
If you are there, I’m wondering what you’re thoughts are on when you are 5 years sober regarding your medallion.
You said “I’ve left after 3 years” Have you recently left?
I too am at 3 years and have for all intents and purposes left, but I had a pang the other week of ~ I guess I won’t get a medallion now. I know I don’t need a medallion from AA, my sobriety is my medallion.
May 1st, 2008 07:06
One thing I would like to make clear is that this site is not anti-AA - so, comments like “you are soooo AA” really are counter-productive to me. Five years is a number I feel strongly about, not as an ex-AA member, but as a mental health professional. If you read the literature, the people who stick consistently with a program of some sort that encourages fellowship and support (not necessarily AA, but it is still the best one out there) for at least 5 years, are 10 times more likely to remain clean and sober over the long haul. And I am not inflating that - 10 times more likely!!!
May 1st, 2008 20:55
What literature exactly, are you referring to that states that 5 years is the magic number? Would you kindly provide that reference, because I have never seen anything of the sort anywhere. You are seemingly stating a statistic without back up and in the same breath, stating that as a mental health professional, 5 years is a number you feel strongly about. Is that an irrefutable fact or your opinion based on your experience? Ten times more likely to stay clean and sober. What’s the basis for that statistic?
Also, I said “you are sounding sooo AA”, not “you are sooo AA”.
AA is notorious for quoting statistics that are not based on any empirical research. As it is an anonymous program and attendence isn’t taken, AA have no way of determining any hard and fast numbers. In fact I have been told in the rooms that sobriety decreases significantly after 5 years, given the number of medallions ordered compared to 1 year medallions.
The problem with that loose observation, is that there are many, that in fact leave the rooms and stay sober, so they are not and cannot be included as part of any sample, doing fine without a program of any kind. Once again, your opinion, that AA is still the best one out there. Nothing, including AA is all things for all people.
I do not believe that my comment, in reference to 5 years being a magic number implies in any way that I am anti AA. Instead I was merely saying that everyone has their own experiences in which to make decisions.
Am I to imply, that everyone is welcome to partake in your blog as long as they are on board with your beliefs? and dare we question or refute or have a different opinion, please don’t?
May 19th, 2008 16:24
First off I’d like to say your blog is well written and well put. Although no one can make a determination on the number of years an alcoholic will or should stay in AA I view your advice to “newbies” staying in AA for at least 5 years as more of a recommendation through your experience.
Me personally, I went to one meeting and saw my life flash before my eyes. I got “spooked” and made a decision that I will never again let my life be controlled by alcohol. Ever again!
However, because of our natural addictive personalities I have picked up another addiction: RUNNING! That’s a whole other story.
My reason for responding to your blog is to say that everyone is in fact different but addicts do need some guidance and are constantly seeking ways to beat their addictions. If some “newbie” came across your blog and stayed in AA for 5 years then good for them and kudos to you for at least giving them a starting point. I didn’t see one response to your blog from people giving any sort of advice other than you shouldn’t give a time line of 5 years. No advice or contribution was shared. Nothing. If you don’t have something to contribute then all you are doing is complaining. Believe me there’s more than of enough of that going around these days.
Here’s my contribution (or whatever you want to call it) for a recovering addict: Do what works for you. If after 5 years AA is working for you then stick with it. Be the designated “coffee maker” or “donut hander outer” or whatever it is you all do in AA. Just go to the meetings if that works for you.
If running helps keep you from downing a case of beer every night and passing out on the couch until morning then RUN LIKE HELL! Run for a charity or two while you’re at it. But don’t stop if it works for you.
If talking to a therapist or your priest keeps you dry then chew his ear off. Let his ears ring for a week until you’re back in the confessional booth next Sunday. But by all means find out what works for you and stick with it.
If I was a “newbie” recovering addict that came across your blog and viewed your recommendation of 5 years in AA, I’d say well at least I have a starting point. Seems to me people should spend less time and energy finding fault in another person’s recommendation and instead try to contribute something worthwhile to help fellow addicts stay clean for another day. Besides, I thought this was your blog?
Signed,
Just another addict
May 19th, 2008 16:30
BTW, I almost forgot to say what I originally wanted to but got side tracked: I’m glad to see that you are still here and still sober!
Stay with it and good luck!!!
May 20th, 2008 08:32
I can’t speak for the other blogger’s and perhaps, nor should you.
My comment relating to the timeline which was strongly recommended by the webmaster as 5 years, was just that. My opinion was not intended to include alternatives.
Did I understand you correctly? you only went to one meeting and that was enough for you decide AA wasn’t for you? Try it 5 years and then get back to us.
May 20th, 2008 09:22
Yes, that’s correct 1 meeting was enough for me (wasn’t speaking on behalf of anyone else). Maybe I’m an anomaly? Or maybe it was all the running that pulled me through? Who knows? Who besides us two is really interested? Those were just my comments. No need to take offense.
I’m not putting AA down by any means. But I saw and felt something at that one meeting that made me decide to lead a better life. I guess AA does work. It just worked a little faster for me.
AA doesn’t do it for me. Running however does. But if I try five years of AA will you try five years of running?
May 20th, 2008 17:43
I just found it curious that you had just gone to one meeting and had an opinion on a timeline.
Have you read the previous blog “Leaving Alcoholics Anonymous?
There are alot of great comments from people who have double digit sobriety and for one reason or another, made the decision to leave AA. The webmaster also mentioned in there how important it was for newcomers to stay in the program for at least 5 years and again in the above blog when she “stressed the importance of staying in the program for at least 5 years” . Just…don’t… think, there is any magic number. Stangely so, we are not all the same.
Congratulations to you for making the decision to stay sober. AA worked for me for the 1st year and I left at 3, because the answers I needed at that point were outside the rooms. I know now that I could have left sooner.
Drinking is NOT an option for me in my life anymore and I am living a much happier, healthier lifestyle.
AA is not for everyone, but for those who have found it their answer, I’m glad it’s there for them.
As far as running goes… and after a couple of years training, I completed the climb and made it to the summit at Kilimanjaro last October.
Why don’t you keep training and make that a goal and reward yourself for making the best decision ever, staying sober and wanting a better life for yourself.
May 21st, 2008 05:03
Thanks! After several attempts to stay sober I have finally found something that works for me and will continue to stick with it. I also enjoy hearing success stories from other addicts because it encourages me to continue to “go the distance”. Congrats to you and your sobriety and to your amazing accomplishment this past October. That is truly an amazing feat!! Although I’m not ready just yet to take on such a tremendous challenge like Kilimanjaro, I am taking on a few personal challenges in my life right now that for me are a feat in themselves.
Good luck and take care….
Semper Fi,
Dennis
May 28th, 2008 01:05
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June 6th, 2008 21:06
To admin,
I haven’t checked this blog in ages. I can not believe that you’ve set these blogs up and do not only reply, but do not monitor them. I find it disgraceful that you have allowed to have someone continue to blog advertising drugs and other products.
Did it ever occur to you that anyone looking at this site could be triggered and have immediate access to these drug websites to order. Have you not checked it in months? Why are you not shutting this person down???
If you are not monitoring your blog, why do you bother having one in the first place??
You should look at other blogs to see how it’s done
June 13th, 2008 14:59
I have to agree with others regarding your advice to newcomers to “newcomers to stay in meetings for at least 5 years.”
You’ve clearly ignored the advice that you needed to stay in meetings for the rest of your life. Wasn’t this stressed at the meetings you attended?
I assume that your reason for doing so is that you’ve determined that, at this point in your life and in your recovery, you no longer feel that meeting attendance is necessary.
How can you not allow for the fact that others may have reached this point sooner (or later) than you did?
To put it another way, suppose I left AA after the 10 year mark, and expressed my belief that 10 years was the magic number?
Overall, I like your blog, but I think this particular bit of advice is more than a little bit hypocritical.
oberyn3
June 16th, 2008 06:58
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